She Walked a Crooked Path

Pulling Back My Power I am the rooted fingers of a 400 foot sequoia tree,  Reaching deep into Mother Earth for nourishment and anchor.  I am the lava flow of Madame Pele,  Risen from Gaia to form this land that is me.  I am the unseen breathing  Of the sun kissed hills on the horizon. I am the curtains drawn back  On magnificent morning sunlight after a night of storms.  I am the beautiful insistence  Of Janis Joplin’s raw and cracked throat chakra. I am the antenna at Arecibo, Looking deep into the universe of me for the answers. I am the divine radiance  In the halo watching Jesus descend to an earthly body.  I am the space flight of the Perseids,  Skipping and burning through the atmosphere,  Hoping for a landfall.  I am a black shiva lingam floating  In the exquisite depth of the void,  Silent and still and about to become  All that I am. -Me

 My name is Julie. I am 51 years old, a first born, and a Leo. I spent the first 7 years of my life in a northern Illinois industrial town with my mom and my dad, and the next 11 years in a rural northeast Arkansas farming community with my grandparents. My brother and I suffered through some things growing up, and then suddenly, we were adults, fumbling our way through the world. I spent a long time in a sort of shock, trying to come to terms with my suspicions that something was wrong with things that happened when I was growing up. My sense of self and my sense of worth were damaged, and I did a lot of self-medicating over the decades to shove down feelings I thought I couldn't cope with any other way. I started going to therapy when I was 25 to try to make sense of my life. In the past 26 years, I have had 5 beloved therapists who have guided me through the process of figuring it out. The most impactful thing I have ever done for myself is to dedicate myself to my spiritua...